Holiday updates!

Assalamualaikum & hello!

How are you guys doing?

I'm good, so far, I'm enjoying unemployment to the fullest. Living it one day at a time. Though I actually can't wait to be called for duty (as I need all the money in the world to pay things), I'm certainly enjoying my time doing nothing.

Actually, I did go to look for part-time jobs at a few places but I don't get any calls yet. I don't know, I seem to have a bad luck in this. I looked for part-times when i finished middle & high school but yeah, I never get the call. The only way that's working so far is if I know somebody from the store or events or something, so he or she will hook me up with the job. Anyhow, I'm still waiting if 7-Eleven want to call me for an interview. #keepthemcrossed

Living with parents are great after all this might be my last time to be pampered of having to live with no responsibilities before I got call for service. But, somehow, there's some perks that come with it. I mean no matter how old you are, they somehow treating you as if you are still that little boy. I mean to be honest I do get stressed out sometime, & now and then, I'm reminded of some unpleasant memories of my childhood. They are not good feelings but anyhow, I'm trying my best to be a good son. #ohlord

Oh yeah, I'm also using this so-called break to try to reconnect with my friends from school, college & university as I have been distancing myself from most of them & only surrounded myself with people I need to (classmates etc) especially during my time which I have to repeat a year & extend a semester. #ouch I understand that some of them might find me weird to be texting or calling out of the blue but I hope they give me a chance to show them that I still cherish the friendship or relationship that we had in the past.

Well, I'm currently on a train to the city to catch my buddy's reception today in Shah Alam. There's an open house at Elia's in Ipoh & will then see Dinie's at her wedding afterwards.

Later!

Wedding impending,
Hanih.

Graduation Part 1

Assalamualaikum & hello there!

Hoping for the best of health for all of you, may you enjoy every second of life to the fullest.

Guys, I am here now bearing good news!

Alhamdulillah, after much struggling, sweat and tears, as the result for my final professional examination was out on the 19th February, I am happy to tell that I have passed all the papers and have now done with my study! 

To those of you who've been following my ups and downs I've poured faithfully here, you'll definitely know how much this means to me. Thank you for all your nice words, kind advices and endless support. 

Truly, the journey in seeking knowledge is not an easy one, I have to admit. I believe, for a person to be blessed with knowledge, sacrifices and compromises are unavoidable. And, when you embarked on a journey, do not give up until you've finally reached your destination. No matter how long it may take, just never ever give up. Don't even have it as an option. No, it's not an option. #enoughsaid

At this moment, I can't help but having to walk down the memory lane to the time where it all started. Those bittersweet memories. Being a dental student, life is especially hard during the clinical times. Requirements & all, right? I have cried many times in those polyclinics, spending most of my day in the fabrication labs finishing dentures, and going back to hostels pass working hours everyday trying to reason with myself of why must I go through all these.

Believe me, there were times when I have no fighting left, feeling lifeless and uninspired. I was not even willing to do it for myself. But then when I think of the ones I love; my mother, my father, and the whole family, I started to realize that I still have something or rather somebody to fight for. Isn't it just plain selfish and self-centered if I just quit and leave everything just because I think I've lost my motivation. If I have no motivation left in me, then I still have to do it, for them. They are my motivation. I learned that, we are too blessed in life to have no motivation to live. And of being an adult, I have to be aware that every action I made is going to affect people's life somehow. 

To my dear juniors especially those in the final year, please please give it all you have! Give it ALL! We can do it!





Sincerely,
Hanih. 

How hard is hard enough...

Dear friends,

Have you ever caught in people's bad impression on you that no matter how hard you try to prove the opposite, life somehow send you crashing any effort you've done like some kind of backfire on you.

Like those days when I always forgot to request via online for the patients' record three days prior to treatment date (at early stage of the implementation). So people start looking at me certain way like how can you be a dentist when you are so forgetful & careless. So I managed to sort my memory then have it done just as it should be. But somehow, it doesn't do anything, like somehow the request didn't get thru because of the bad connection, somehow I put on the wrong date, somehow I didn't request for anything. Doesn't change anything.

Today, I got scared by ny supervisors. I have to extend my practicals in this department at the faculty and I have some problem with my patient's compliance in attending the appointment although time is running out now. But when I told that to my supervisor to seek in some assistant, he had the impression as if I'm not doing my work in the clinic or something. I may not have a perfect attendance myself but obviously I am in the clinic every week.

Things like this makes me think of how much more should I give. How my good is not good enough. & what exactly do they want from me...

Please, I want this to end.

Waiting for the day,
Hanih.

We are all sinners...

Dear friends,

Have you ever suprised yourself by your own behaviour?

Like how you're so not innocent anymore.

Like how dirty you can get to have something.

And how hypocrite you are in life.

I guess we all have this kind of moments once in a while, or every other night when you reflect upon yourself before putting yourself to sleep.

I bet right now when you're reading this, you're all thinking of that shameful acts or vices we have done or are doing.

A sinner,
Hanih.

Confession of a lone wolf.

So what if I prefer to be alone most of the time?

Is it right to define me by how many friends are walking with me when you see me?

And, is it not right to judge a person in the first place?

I am sorry if I do not like your company at times. Truth is, I am not built to please you.

Can we just be content with let's just live our live peacefully.

Let's be adults,
Hanih.

Loserville

Dear friends,

Have you ever feel like such a loser, that you try so hard not to suck but somehow your efforts are unaccounted for & nothing's changed.

Like somehow you tried so hard to change people's perception on you, but you end up convincing them with their presumptions.

Then, you learned a lesson. That is that, you have to allow yourself to think that you are the only thing that matter to yourself. Do not mind what people think of you because the truth is we are not built to please people.

When I found myself whining whenever I put others above myself, I'll then ask, "Why did you?..."

Because if we're sincere, then we shouldn't be complaining...

Me-state-of-mind,
Hanih.

"I'd like to make myself believe, that planet Earth turns slowly..."

When it's in the day, it seems that I'll always think of having too much free time that I spend it by sleeping,

But when it's at night, it seems that I'll always think of having less time for myself that I need to stay awake...

What's wrong with me?

These six month, I'm thinking of improving my sleeping hours so that I can give myself the proper rest it need. Negotiating & balancing my lifestyle & recommendations of hours of sleep per day, I decided that I need six hours of sleep everyday. It should be up to eight hours though, but I'm not the type that go to bed early.

I'm gonna see how it goes then.

Insomniac,
Hanih B.

Demi sesuap nasi...

Assalamualaikum & hello!

Last weekend I had been given an opportunity to work a weekend job with the kadlawo.com company in hosting an event for PASDEC Holdings Berhad at the Kuantan Parade in conjunction with the Karnival Jualan Pasdec 2015 in which they were putting a sale on the houses under their development.

Honestly, I have never had a job prior to this one. After SPM, I applied for a job at this ticketing agent for coach liners & at a computer outlet as a sales agent, but never actually get it. The computer people called but I declined it somehow because they were stressing about meeting up the sales & everything & being so young & a little bit pessimist, I was so afraid of screwing up *never do that again, dear self* So, that makes this really the first time for me. How's that for trying new things *applause applause*

What makes me decide to do this one was basically to have a new experience & to help this dear friend of mine *his brother in law is the boss*, besides the allowance.

This job is not actually a hard one. Basically what we had to do was just being on standby around the vicinity for any technical situations like handling the coffee machine & refreshments for the staffs & the customers, keeping the area clean and just basically anything that need extra pairs of hands. Oh, and we have to help setting up and clean up the place nights before and after the event. I honestly think we were overpaid for the job so I just do anything & see if I can offer any help for just everything. What was most tiring for me though was the time, which is from 10 am to 10 pm, in which we just have to stand there, be ready for anything. And the night before the event was extremely exhausting in which we have to bring in these trees for decoration purpose which were very very heavy.

Werk!

Group photo with Ustaz Dato' Badli Shah who gave a talk about the responsibilities of a Muslim to his neighbor

Going thru the experience make me really feel how hard it is to earn money, for just anybody. It is not easy. In those paychecks, were countless sweat & tears, sleepless nights, restless days & time. I mean, just imagine those people who are stucked with jobs that they don't like, yet they have to endure it every month just to keep living.

*Maka nikmat mana yang kamu dustakan?*

Employ me,
Hanih B.

Tell or together?

Dear friends,

When you found something great first, would you rather have it alone & share the story later to your friends,

or,

would you rather tell them directly so that you guys can have the experience together?

I guess it depends, right?

Depends on what it is & the people.

I guess I have to be more flexible in putting my head around this.


A student,
Hanih B.

Graduation Blues...

Dear friends,

Graduation is always a happy occasion for a student. Be it getting your diploma, first degree or postgraduate study. Heck, even kindergarteners get their graduation nowadays.

I got my first taste of the so-called graduation when I finished high school at the MRSM. Of course, there was me sitting in the robe with the whole class getting our name called one by one to the stage to get the transcript or the scroll. Back then we were wearing songkok instead of the mortar board.

Yeah, it was exciting and all, but it doesn't really make me feel like having the proper one you know, since the real ones are always when you graduate from courses you take in the university. You know, like a real sense of accomplishment, before you get off to your career.

I always love watching the Legally Blond because despite of all the blondness (or rather pinkness) of the movie, I find it somehow inspirational, you know, Elle Woods surviving law school and all the stereotypes that comes with her by being true to herself and optimistic towards life. She was the valedictorian.

I watch that everytime I'm feeling down and like graduating is too far from now. I watch that and feel, "Gosh, it's such a nice place to be in! I want to be in that place!..."

I had the opportunity to be in that in recent years when Mom was receiving her PhD at the University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur. Then Raja Nazrin Shah of Perak was there to hand out the scrolls. It was magical, exciting and inspiring. The whole family were there including grandma and the relatives. The place was filled with so many positivity that you feel like graduating straightaway.

My graduation is delayed (again) by six months compared to my classmates as I still have many clinical requirements to be completed. Making me the six and a half year dental student here in Kulliyyah of Dentistry, IIUM right now. Presently, I am gathering all the strength & motivation I can get to get this over with.

Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to get off this place.

And I certainly hope that that's not true.

Because my graduation has been 18 months overdue.

Still trying,
Hanih B.

"You're rubbing me the wrong way"

Friends,

Have you ever strucked by how insensitive some people who you thought you knew might be?

Like you said to yourself, "Gosh, I thought you have a heart!" Or if I wanna be shady, sometimes I'll just think that he or she is autistic so that I will not let myself hate that person.

When somebody is tested with some difficult situations, the least that we can do is provide a supportive environment. 

When you don't have something nice to say, they you are better off by being silent.

When you don't really know or understand people, the more reason you shouldn't be making any judgment. 

How big is a test given to a person is not a picture of how bad that person might be.

I have been treating you very well all this time but what have you thrown my way is just unacceptable. From now on, you will be among one of those people that I will be nice to just for the sake of completing my work here. You have given me a one strong reason to why I must get off this place as soon as possible.

Hurt,
Hanih B.

Keeping up with YOU.

Assalamualaikum & Hello!

How are you guys? Fine, I hope, insyaAllah.

I'm done with my Pre-Professional Examination for Year 5 last week.

Well, exam is exam. You study until you have all these headache, sleepless nights and sickness and all, stared at the hard or simply too easy exam questions for a minute or more, and write just about everything to make sure you do not leave blank papers, haha.

Honestly, I feel like I have too much exams since my first year, so, everytime there's an exam, I'll be like, "Let's get this over with..." #wow #justwow

Anyway, I just want to ask, what do you think of a one-sided relationship? You know, those things where people says that you have to give and take and whatever.

Because I am in this kinda situation right now. Honestly, I've known it for some time, years in fact, but I just didn't want to admit it to myself because I don't want to sangka buruk and all, you know. So, I told myself, to just pull thru, believing that some things (or people) are destined to be in your life for some reason we might or might not know.

But over the years, seeing nothing changes, I think I start to be caving, which is not a good thing. And I learned that this is not a good relationship.

I'm tired of the same cycle of events that's gonna take place. Because now, at this point, I don't think that there could be any other way except walking away, or let myself be succumbed to the relationship.

Oh God...

Lost,
Hanih Borhan.

Home sweet home

Assalamualaikum & Hello!

How are you? Hope that you're in the best of health, insyaAllah...

Well, if you're feeling blue, cheer up, because holiday is around the corner! #CNY

I'm on my holiday now though haha... Yeah, arrived safe & sound from Kuantan after 12 hours journey, phew... How do I did it you asked? Well to tell you the truth, I'm used to it. Sure, sometimes I felt too beat or wished that I could just take a plane but since that's too fancy of an option for me, I just have to make do then. 

So, home is good, homey as as homey as it should be. It's very sunny here *just the way I like it*. There's more rabbits since my last time here, & there's also a big fat hamster, haha, this must be my Sister's or my Dad's *yeah, no kidding* Oh yeah, I've been searching for Nowi & the kittens but couldn't seem to find it anywhere. Instead, there are these two adult cats which I've never seen before making themselves comfortable on the couch. I was like, "Hey, do I know you?..." 

Anyway, today is kinda like my rest day, you know. All I do is sleep & watch movies, haha. Well, that's what holiday is all about, isn't it? Wait, those are what I do everyday actually, haha.

Let me get back to you ok? Until then, Happy Chinese New Year!

Bye, for now.

Apparently, this new cat isn't into selfies as much as I am...

Drama...

Assalamualaikum & Hello!

How are you guys enjoyin' ur weekend?

Well, I'm spending most of it by watching this new series that I'm sooo obsessed with, ever heard of Gotham? Well, if you're a fan of Batman (I am!), I'm sure you'll love it. Oh, please remind me to write about it here one day, ok?

So today, I spend most of the time by being angry at people, haha, not a good thing, I know, but tell me kalau dah sampai lebih kurang dua jam locked out from my own room dengan towel, siapa yang tak marah kan, haha... & yeah, twice, haha... I was so angry that I was almost gonna lash out tapi bila fikir2 balik, I'm not gonna let myself say or do something stupid that I'll regret later. If you find yourself being really angry or mad at someone, it always help to walk out of the situation by doing something else instead of letting yourself be consumed by the perasaan you know, so that's what I did. *applause applause*

Anyhow, I was not sure that I'm gonna be back home for the Chinese New Year #cny. Yeah, 'cause we originally were going to have only four days break from Thursday to Sunday, so, dengan tak beli tiketnya lagi & with all the traffic jam on the highway that will be almost 100% happening, instead of spending most of the time by being miserable on the bus more than at home with family, I rather stay.

But you know what, some unexpected events happened yesterday at work (a bad one unfortunately), so, the faculty has decided to give us more days for the holiday! Instead of Thursday, we'll be having it from Monday, cheers to that. Time tu macam mixed feelings, because being in the final year students, kejar-ing the requirements & all, clinical sessions are sooo important for us to be missed! But bila fikir yang last break pun tak sempat balik sebab kena pergi the elective posting, somehow I feel yang rumah kat Kedah tu dah memanggil2 menyeru2 untuk balik. Oh yeah, & I miss my parents & adik2 sooo much, so yeah, I'm going home after all. But, I still don't get myself a ticket home, I don't even tell my parents yet, haha. Maybe I'll go buy it tomorrow for the night trip either Sunday or Monday.

So, don't miss me? haha... #sayNOtoValentines #kelabsingle

Bye for now. Happy CNY!...

Krisis...

Assalamualaikum & hello!

How are you? Hope that you are doing fine. I miss you guys, so that's why I wrote this.

Just to tell you, I am not doing so good these past few days.

I always thought when we are in pain, it's better to swallow all of it, to not admitting it to yourself, or at least to not mutter it out loud, because somehow by doing those, it will somehow let you be consumed & affected by the things itself, which I don't like, because I am gonna let myself be affected by it. But they say, the first thing to do to get help is admitting (at least to yourself) that there is something wrong...

Friends, is it normal for a person my age to still be thinking about how would I like to see myself, those who-am-I kind of stuff? Is it normal for me to still figuring who I want to be & things that I wish I did? Is it normal to still be uncertain of how my future is gonna turn out?

Please, doakan yang baik-baik untuk saya. I'm gonna go figure out my future. #gelap

Bye for now.

Nah, surat cinta!

Hello there!

Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it?

Last update pun bulan 11 tahun lepas, haha. Boleh lagi tak nak wish "Happy New Year?..." #toolittletoolate

How are you guys? Hope that you're blessed with the best of health, insyaAllah. Oyeah, I'm fine too, thanks, haha.

What has been keeping me busy... It's like everyday I do prosthodontics...hah...

So, I just finished my end of block 2 exams. Not much to talk about really. Sebab dah selalu kena exam, jadi setiap kali ada exam, dah numb, dah tak rasa cuak, takut tak dapat jawab or whatever, haha. Teringat lagi dulu zaman sekolah, kalau nak exam tu, bukan main nervous, paling teruk sampai blank bila nak jawab soalan, sebab punyalah takut tak dapat jawab sampai lupa habis semua benda yang diulangkaji, haha. Zaman2 asasi dulu pun, ada jugak sket2 nervous bila nak exam, time tu mula kenal dengan term 'nervous diarrhea'. Mula2 bila dengar ada kawan yang went thru that, rasa macam, "Wow, macam tu sekali?... #sarcasm" because at that time it seems to me that it doesn't make sense. Tapi, bila diri sendiri kena baru tau how inconvenient it acually is. 

#WERK

Mata helang tak? Spot me!

Nowadays, I don't experience those kind of stuff anymore, I don't know. I guess it depends anyway. I mean, it depends on how big the exam is. This end-block exam is not a big exam actually so I guess that's why. I mean come one, I have to sit for exams once in three month so tell me how that it is not numbing me already, haha. Persoalan kat sini sekarang, kenapa dah banyak kali exam pun, bodoh jugak, hahaha. #okeh #takbaik


So, supposedly we are having a one week break post-exam, but unfortunately, I'm not gonna be able to spend the whole week in Kedah. Sebabnya all of us have to go for this elective posting in Melaka or Johor. Hah. It's gonna take up until Thursday, so I haven't yet decided whether to still go to Kedah after that or just head back to Kuantan, because we are starting the new block next Monday. I have to settle some works some more which include the preparation for the mock-up research presentation that will be coming up in next two weeks, a set of denture to be ready for try-in & a lot of studying and revision. & I don't know how will I tell Mom that I maybe not be able to go back *teary eyes* . Guess I can't fuss much though being a final year student now, can I...hmm...

Anyway, I still haven't figured out what to bring for tomorrow. Well, since I will not be able to have a proper break, might as well consider this elective posting as a getaway then. Dari semalam, asyik Google tempat2 makan yang best kat Melaka, haha... #nampaktakpermainandia

So, lemme get back to you after?

Take care, 
Mr. H.

Aku tanya "Apa Khabar..."

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum & good morning everybody. 
Hope that whoever is reading this is in the best of health, amin.

So, I started to write again. Hah... 

I just actually finished my end-of-block 1 examination, 8 subjects altogether, yeah. Put some efforts into it & I feel quite OK in answering. I mean, I don't leave the space empty, haha, that's the important thing. Man, I feel stupid if I have to return the question paper empty, I did it before & I didn't like the way I feel afterwards, so, I don't want to do it again, haha. Anyway...

Life is just OK now. I'm in my final year now & insyaAllah, I'll be graduating in just about 9 months time & God knows how time flies! I'm still struggling with my clinical requirements, you know, dentures to be constructed, tooth to be canal-treated & minor oral surgery to be done. I'm not even close in finishing any of it, so, I'm very worried about it. This past 3 months has not been really great or productive. My aim was to not let any clinic passed by without doing any treatment, but you know, sometimes this thing is beyond us. Patient cancelling appointment in the last minute, children crying or just shutting their mouth during treatment, dentures need to be redo & many more. May Allah ease insyaAllah...

Some of my dear friends who started dentistry in the same batch as me have graduated last month. I had the chance to go see them during the convocation. Although it was very tiring & took up my weekend, it wasn't really happy because I was sooo genuinely happy for them! Oh, I am just sooo proud & I know that they are going to give 'em hell outside, hahaha. Convocation is always an inspiring thing to me, so, being there was a good thing for my motivation in my study, oyeah.

We have to move in to new building here in the campus. It's been about 2 weeks or so now. I'm quickly adjusting to it but somehow it feels like I'm back in high school again. Sebabnya, sebelum ni tinggal kat single room & sekarang kat bangunan baru ni, kena tinggal 4 orang satu bilik, jadi, macam tak best sket hahaha. Tak ada lah, sebelum ni I can just make noises & stay up late or whatever, tapi sekarang, kena fikir untuk tak sakitkan hati roommates & so. I don't think I'm good in keeping people happy, because if I'm started to be really concern about it, I just let it consume me too much, so, haha. It's complicated right, but, that's life, dude! Anyway... I'm really gonna miss my old room. There's sooo much memories made in that room. That was pretty much my 'cave' whenever I'm feeling sad or anything. So, it's one of those places that I'm definitely gonna remember along the way.

Nak meninggalkan Horcrux kat sini ala-Voldemort boleh? Haha...

I make some new friends & I'm really happy about it. It's a big deal for me because somehow these past few years, I tend to push people away & only let in people who are very close to me, of fear of being hurt or not understood. But I learned now that that's not always the case, because it turns out, people who are the closest to you who will actually hurts you the most. Funny huh? But that doesn't happen with everybody though, so, no worries haha... Anyway, I like to know people, to listen to their stories, to see how they see the world, so, knowing somebody new is definitely an interesting thing for me. It's just awesome to know that people can be so similar to us as they are so different, so yeah, hope I am good enough in keeping them as well.

Oh yeah, please check out my IG (hanihborhan), I put on new pictures almost everyday haha, so, don't worry about I'm possibly being dormant there haha. Somehow, I prefer IG now compared to Blogger/Facebook/Twitter now to express whatever I'm feeling sometimes. I guess the saying 'a picture worth a thousand words' does have some sense to it actually.

Signing off-

Yeah, I'm back!

Hello everybody!

Oh my, lamanya tak post entry baru kat sini! Yup, last entry was on 19th of March. Tu pun Wordless Wednesday je, macam entry sebelum tu jugak. Haih.

Well, tak ada mood sangat sebelum ni untuk menulis. Tak ada sebab lain kalau bukan sibuk & stress dengan hal2 akademik & klinikal kat sini. 

As a 4th year dental student here in KOD (& other Dental schools, I'm sure), everyday life was all about the clinical requirements. Go & ask every dentist about their college life, matters about requirements cannot be missed. We started worrying about requirements from the 3rd year, because that was when we started our clinical training on the real patients. It gets worse when we're in the 4th year because we have to pass some certain numbers or percentage (about 70%) of the whole requirements (which is from third year until fifth year) to be eligible to sit for the Promotional Exam which we have to pass to get thru to the final year.

Promotional exam ni macam ujian praktikal lah lebih kurang. Skil klinikal kami diuji, contohnya ujian buat tampalan besar, ujian bagi ubat bius & ujian buat acuan atau ukur gigi untuk buat dentures. Jadi, untuk layak buat ujian ni, kami kena lepas dulu percentage requirements tu. Hah, separuh mati kerja tiap2 hari nak cukupkan requirements. Bila dah cukup, gelisah & stress untuk buat Promotional Exam tu pulak. Nak cari patient yang sesuai, nak book exam date & sebagainya. Seriously, roller-coaster of emotions, like everyday! Rutin biasa, pukul 8 sampai 10 pagi ke kuliah. Pukul 10 sampai ke 5 petang, sibuk di klinik. Oh, bukan boleh balik terus lepas tu tau! Naik lab pulak untuk siapkan gigi palsu... Ye, tiap2 hari macamni. Biasanya kalau balik dari lab pukul 6 petang (atau Maghrib), terus dinner & tidur. Memang dah burnout tak sempat nak study apa2. Sebab tu kalau hari Jumaat tu memang seronok gila sebab dapat rehat sekejap waktu hujung minggu.

So, isn't it a valid reason from me not to write about anything here? (alasan, haha...) Actually, there's so much important moments that I would love to write about. But since it was like months ago, haha... So... No...haha...
___________________________________________________________

Alhamdulillah, no other words can describe how grateful I am to received the results on last Friday that I am eligible to go to the final year.

Final year BDS, here I come! 

#merenungmasadepan

Sweat & tears, not to mention blood, yeah, literally!... I was actually preparing myself for the worst, so when I received the news, I didn't know how to react. Some of my friends told me that I don't look as happy as they would expect. I dunno, haha... Because at the same time, some of my dear friends are tested to not be eligible to be promoted to the final year, so somehow, as much as I am happy, it feels lacking in some way, because there's missing faces in the picture that I had in my mind.

Alas, Allah is The All-Knowing, so He knows best. & I am touched by how strong & composed they all reacted in such situations. My dear prayers go to all of us...

Oh, saya akan b'cuti lama ni! Tak rancang lagi apa nak buat cuti ni. Hmm, mungkin boleh habiskan baca buku2 yang banyak tak t'baca tu? ;p

Annoying gila pakai benda ni!...

"Put your feet in your patients' shoes..."

Untuk minggu ni punya Wordless Wednesday, dua hari yg lepas, saya ada letak satu gambar. Gambar ni :

Memandangkan Acik ada tanya, apa benda tu, so, meh sini saya story-kan, haha...

Benda tu nama dia 'Separator'. As the name suggests, yup, what it does is literally separating the teeth. Yelah, jarakkkan gigilah... Secara ringkasnya, benda ni dipakaikan kat pesakit oleh dentist kalau kita nak jarakkan gigi temporarily untuk dapatkan ruang yang cukup untuk betulkan susunan gigi yang b'lapis. Macam mana benda plastik sekecik/se-simple tu boleh jarakkan gigi yang nampak sangat statik tu, explanation dia is another story, haha... Apa yang saya dapat bagitau, gigi tu boleh b'gerak... 

Oh tak, saya pakai bukan sebab nak align gigi b'lapis. As dental student, saya rasa sangat penting untuk kami faham apa yang patient rasa bila terima treatment kat klinik gigi. Yelah, macam mana sakitnya kena cucuk, macam mana ngilu kena drill bila tampal gigi & macam mana tak selesanya bila air banyak b'takung dalam mulut & sebagainya. 

So, personally, saya dah pernah rasa sendiri macam mana kena cucuk, kena cabut gigi, ngilu kena tampal gigi, & kena cuci gigi. Cuma pakai braces je tak dapat rasa sebab saya tak terima lagi rawatan tu. Benda Separator tu ada kena mengena dengan braces tu, so, in a way, bila lecturer suruh kami semua pakai benda ni celah gigi selama lebih kurang sehari, saya dapat rasa secebis ke-tak selesa-an patient yang terima rawatan yang memerlukan dorg pakai Separator ni. 

Ya Allah, seriously annoying gila! Rasa macam ada daging t'selit celah gigi, tapi kita tak dapat keluarkan. Lepas tu bila tengah kunyah masa makan, lagi terasa annoying tu sebab waktu gigi atas & gigi bawah b'temu kan, haih... & most of the patient kena pakai benda ni b'hari2 tau! & sometime, bukan 1 je, tapi sampai 4! 

Hu3 kesian patient... Tulah, harap2 saya dapat jadi dentist yang b'timbang-rasa & empati bila kerja nanti insyaAllah. Doakan saya! ^_^

I miss you...

Memahami apa tu bertepuk sebelah tangan.

Memahami apa tu syok sendiri.

Apa boleh kita buat kalau apa yang kita rasa tak sama dengan apa yang dia rasa. 

Bodoh ke saya sebab rasa macam ni? 

Tak dapat bezakan antara ‘terlalu cepat’ & ‘sudah terlambat’. Tak mau terlalu gopoh mengejarnya, & dalam masa yang sama, tak mau terlepas. 

& kalau saya rasa sakit hati, adakah sebab orang tu atau hati saya yang mudah rasa sakit?

& as everytime, I tell myself, “Don’t overthink, get over yourself…”

“Tu lah, awak selalu buat andaian sendiri…” Saya senyum malu, mengaku.

Ah, rasa rindu ni menyakitkan.

“Tak apa ke macam ni? Tak ganggu awak?...”

“Tak apa, kan dah janji semalam…” 

Saya senyum.