How hard is hard enough...

Dear friends,

Have you ever caught in people's bad impression on you that no matter how hard you try to prove the opposite, life somehow send you crashing any effort you've done like some kind of backfire on you.

Like those days when I always forgot to request via online for the patients' record three days prior to treatment date (at early stage of the implementation). So people start looking at me certain way like how can you be a dentist when you are so forgetful & careless. So I managed to sort my memory then have it done just as it should be. But somehow, it doesn't do anything, like somehow the request didn't get thru because of the bad connection, somehow I put on the wrong date, somehow I didn't request for anything. Doesn't change anything.

Today, I got scared by ny supervisors. I have to extend my practicals in this department at the faculty and I have some problem with my patient's compliance in attending the appointment although time is running out now. But when I told that to my supervisor to seek in some assistant, he had the impression as if I'm not doing my work in the clinic or something. I may not have a perfect attendance myself but obviously I am in the clinic every week.

Things like this makes me think of how much more should I give. How my good is not good enough. & what exactly do they want from me...

Please, I want this to end.

Waiting for the day,
Hanih.