Friday.20th May 2011. Evening
There's just no accurate word can I use to describe my feelings right now. I'm very emotional about it.
No one really know how it really means to me except Him off course, The One & Only.
After I'm done with my Dental Material Viva Vorce for border-line session, hearing rumours from everywhere, fed to us by everybody, I immediately build inside myself a fort. The fort that will hold me, support me, protect me from my own emotional & mental breakdown when I'll receive my examination result.
At that time, I was kinda pretty certain that I'm gonna disappoint myself, again. I didn't think that I'll pass any of the subject, seriously. I don't want to be over-confident. I admit that I was indeed at that time, a little negative on myself. Not solely because I think I'm sometime stupid, but mainly because I want to prepare myself for the worst thing that may come. So that, if it really turns out bad ( Na'uzubillah...), I'll not be depressed to death.
On the way to the KOD to see the result, I 'd ask my friend to not talk to me on the way back to the home because at that time I was insanely sure that I have failure.
But, at the moment when I see the result, I was very shocked. I tried very hard to look for the 'FAIL' remark at the result list. I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart which had been pumping madly as if there's no tomorrow suddenly feels like stopping. I called out a couple of my friends to check the result for me in case my eyes tricked me. But, it actually sees the truth. I pass each & every one of the subject. I didn't how, but I did it. I really did it.
This moment could just be a tiny little thing for anybody else. But, for me, IT'S A REALLY BIG DEAL.
Instead of jumping happily after receiving the good news, I ended up, being very silent on the way back to our house. I'm just, speechless. There's just no right word can I use to really describe how I'm feeling. Just, ALHAMDULILLAH...
Love to my family for the continuous support & du'a that they always give me. I can say, that they never ever stop believing. Your faces are the things that are played in my mind, your words are the things that my ears heard, & biiznillah, your love are the things that make me alive.
Many thanks & respect for the Dean, the Deputy Deans & my very dedicated lecturers for always being very helpful & concern about me, my well-being & my study. I'm sure you guys really do understand how meaningful this is for me. With my whole life, I could never ever repay.
Hugs to my dear friends who've been very supportive & encouraging. For the company. For the colours in my life.
Gotta work super-harder for the next year.
Kena kuat, kuat & kuat lagi. Kena sabar, sabar & sabar lagi. Kena tabah, tabah & tabah lagi.
Ya ALLAH, please, do be with me eventhough I'm far & astray, for your ridhaa & barakah only, that I can enjoy your knowledge, your 'Ilm...